See Naples and die!!

Well we left Sorrento yesterday and it was sunny. That in itself was something of a surprise as the weather has been as they say on British weather forecasts "mixed".
But our stay in Sorrento was not uneventful. We fled there from Pompeii and an attack by a plague of ants, which are one of Lynda's pet hates. We picked the site described by the Caravan Club guide as the "best to avoid the crowded roads". That was no understatement about the roads. The further south in Italy we have gone the more insane has been the driving. Here the cars with a few exceptions - Porsches and Ferraris - all look like they have been in some kind of demolition derby. Scrapes, dinges, broken mirrors bent and broken bumpers are all common. But then its not surprising. Backing into (well almost into) parking bays across two lines of traffic whilst the deranged riders of scooters and motorcycles pass on all four sides seem to be a local hobby. But the road around the "Sorrentine peninsula" is really for mad men as it is narrow with little room for error or you hit the wall/crash barrier/cliff face or double parked(abandoned?) car with its hazard lights on. And then you meet a coach coming the other way as he swings around the bend - on your side whilst a scooter squeezes between you both with his head on one side talking into the telefonino(mobile) stuffed into his helmet.
In the Fiat driving around the Amalfi side it was a bit better if only because the Fiat is small but of course I am foreign so must be passed by every Italian worth his blue shirt. All very nice but it does have the problem of being inundated with tourists.
Sorrento is a bit like the Costas but with Italian food - sfogliatella al limone are worth the trip alone. However with bars offering English football, a menu from Monty Python consisting of unlimited variations of eggs, bacon, chips, beans, toast and tea and an assumption if you are English you can't speak Italian its not my favourite place. Add cruise ships full of American tourists whose ignorance/arrogance or both is breathtaking and I could kill. Hearing two American ladies discussing what they had seen in Rome with the puchline "They've got so much history in Europe" makes me want to scream. And Capri is worse - it boasts over 3m visitors on an island on some 10 square kilometres. The Blus Grotto is frankly a rip off with 5 minutes laid back in a rowing boat for 10 euros plus if you catch the boat from the harbour another 11 euros. The bus ride is better and cheaper but as the bus fills the road (and its only a mini bus) it is not for the nervous.
And the fly tipping which is everywhere is horrendous. The local council has a complicated recycling scheme for just about everything but the locals seem to ignore it and just dump bags of rubbish, mattresses etc at every lay by, back street, country lane.
Still finally we were away - after I'd spent 24 hours being violently ill from something I ate and another 24 hours drinking bottled water and Lynda nursing a bruised elbow when she stepped back to avoid a bus pulling into a stop on the harbour when we came back from Capri and slipped. Then the locals were great offering to get a ambulance, getting a load of ice from a local shop to press on the bruise and the local policeman going off to tell the bus driver what he thought of him after making sure we were alright.
Out of Sorrento on Sunday morning after a last shower in the most public showers I've used since school in the 1960's - i.e. no privacy and no locks on the toilets either. The road out was quieter but still offered an interesting experience but simpler than getting in. On so to the Autostrada. All was well until we needed to stop for diesel. As they advertise comparative prices for the service station I went for the cheapest - but so did everybody else. Then to make it worse the operators had decided to rebuild the forecourt. This produced long and convoluted queues which are not Italian drivers strong suit. Of course this large foreign registered unit is fair game to be cut up by everyone. So a man driving a white Mercedes taxi sees the car in front of move forward and having got fed up with his queue pulls across the front of us. There is load bang at this point. I get out as does he but although he's close he hasn't hit us.Instead people are pointing at the cabinet cover on the "Winnie" where the electric cable is stored which is open and "smoking". But when I look no black cable or signs of a short just a clouad of dust. Its the ant powder from Pompeii - it must have got hot and "exploded". Oh well another lesson learned - that fine ant powder, hot weather and a confined space dont mix well.
At this point enter the Italian lorry driver. We apparently are blocking his way through - well along with several vehicles in front of me but he starts honking and beeping and waving madly as if we are the problem. I did consider driving over the Renault in front of me to be helpful but could not get a run at it. At some point Lynda has had enough of this. She got out and I thought said something to him. She did - sort off. Next thing is she sits back in her seat and the lorry driver is at the window expressing his displeasure at her reaction - but my range of Italian swear words is not good enough to translate but the gist is he did not appreciate the gesture she made! He felt she had disrespected him. When I get to the pump he pulls past and goes to the lorry park. He passes muttering as I fill up and drive away.
Still we made Fiano Romano without a "Duel" style ride up the autostrada.